by Penny Blake

interludium

“Max, my dear cousin, this Therezine is amazing! I feel the need for a song coming on.”

“Oh no, please!”

“Yes yes yes. It will be fine. No. It won’t, my mind is a swamp with light, I can’t think straight. Um… the moon is up the stars are bright…”

“Oh please not that old thing, haven’t you learnt anything new in the last five years?”

“Has it really been five?”

“I’ve no idea, I’m making it up as I go.”

“Oh-ho! How about the one we made up?”

“I never make things up.”

“You are always making things up. You must remember it, the Latin one.”

“Oh! You remember that? How amusing! I assumed a pirate had no need for such things as Latin.”

“Well, I don’t say I remember it verbatim, but I dare say I could pull it off.”

“Latin is not something one ‘pulls off’, ‘Jackie’, either you know it fluently or you leave the damn thing alone.”

“Your trouble is this; you have spent far too much time swilling tea in the company of parlour-poets and chintz-armchair-academics.”

“Whilst you have been guzzling meths with these cretinous C’orgies.”

“Have we crossed?”

“Not at all. Suffice to say you were always, at best, a dog. Now I detect the scent of bacon as well. It does not do for A Very Quiet Gentleman to perform bloody murder on the classical tongue.”

“Very Quiet Gentleman, my eye and my elbow! More like a Swinehund From Hull. And I seem to remember that your own Latin was always as much pig as it was dog.”

“A matter of preference in ardently wishing to antagonise my mother, I assure you.”

“Ho! I don’t doubt it! So, are you game? We need accompaniment – TAM! strike us up a beat, me love…”

“Was it in A key?”

“Most songs are.”

“You are not amusing.”

“Sorry. Er, I think if we’re going to manage it at all it ought to be G.”

“I’d prefer A.”

“G it is then, and 4/4?”

“I’ve no idea and care significantly less.”

“What about Colin?”

“Colin cares even less than I do.”

“Here we go then… 1, 2, 3, 4…

 

 

Like A Latin Pig Dog Out Of Hull                                            Translation By Fein Richards

                                                                                                                                    

Max: Fraternitas, supra omnia                                                           Brotherhood, above all else

Jack: Ita in vita ut , in lusu alae pessima                                          As in life, so with a bowl of porridge

Max: Jactura, arte corrigenda                                                             Skill will make something of the

Jack: Est omne quod, nitet aurum est                                             meagrest ingredients, all that glims is gold.

Max: Una stamus dividui cadimus                                                    United we stand divided we fall

Jack: Una stamus furciferi-socii-something –else                      United we stand, rogues together

Max: Never ever forget I’ve                                                               Never ever forget I’ve

Jack: got your back if you’ve got mine so                                      Got your back if you’ve got mine so

 

Together: opta ardua                                                                             Reach

pennis astra sequi                                                                                   For the stars

opta ardua                                                                                                  Reach

Max: But don’t forget to stop for tea                                              But don’t forget to stop for tea

Together: somnia tua                                                                            Follow your dreams

persequere quoniam                                                                             because

spes sunt futuri temoris!                                                                      They are the hope of the future!

 

Jack: There’s a land of gold,                                                                 There’s a land of gold

waiting for me and you                                                                         waiting for me and you

El Dorado, friends,                                                                                  El Doradao, friends,

where all your dreams will come true                                            where all your dreams will come true

Max: Ailsatarum, on the ocean blue                                                sail, on the ocean blue

Tramp that open road,                                                                          Tramp that open road

leave the past behind you (itgatio)                                                 Leave the past behind you (git)

 

Jack:(bless you)                                                                                        (bless you)

ad libitum, ad… marjoram Gloria                                                      All for liberty, for…marjoram and glory

Max: Say it with confidence                                                                Say it with confidence

and they’ll be none the wiser                                                            And they’ll be none the wiser

Jack: Never ever forget Quis..?                                                         Never ever forget what’s…?

Max: Vestri est mei,                                                                               Yours is mine

Quis est mei est mei so                                                                         And what’s mine is mine, so

 

Together: opta ardua                                                                             Reach

pennis astra sequi                                                                                   For the stars

opta ardua                                                                                                  Reach

Max:Etributionaris si os eetswensi                                                   Retribution is so sweet

somnia tua                                                                                                 Follow your dreams

persequere quoniam                                                                             Because

spes sunt futuri temoris!                                                                      They are the hope of the future!

 

Jack: Er…                                                                                                     Er…

 

Max: Etherialis oadriscum,                                                                   The road

ot ullhea n ackbellorum                                                                        To Hull and back

si ongliis n ardhensibus,                                                                        Is long and hard

n veI’ aitedwee orf isthiscis                                                                 And I’ve waited for this

lla eth ainpea n urthes,                                                                         All the pain and hurt

earsyea fo ameshenses                                                                        Years of shame

arlindae erewhum, erewin ouyidium?                                           Darling, where were you?

 

Alktidium fo, actpea otherbridum,                                                   Talk of pacts, brother

oodhea n uchsea on’tdis,                                                                     hood and such don’t

add-up-to-uchmidium                                                                           add up to much

ti eansmea othingnea em oveliscarum so                                     It means nothing ‘me love’ so,

 

Together: opta ardua                                                                             Reach

pennis astra sequi                                                                                   For the stars

opta ardua                                                                                                  Reach

Max:etributionaris si os eetswensi                                                  Retribution is so sweet

Together: somnia tua                                                                            Follow your dreams

persequere quoniam                                                                             Because

spes sunt futuri temoris!                                                                      They are the hope of the future!

Max: Ad astra!                                                                                          The stars!

Jack: I can’t remember the next bit                                                 I can’t remember the next bit

Max: “Ad astra”                                                                                        “The Stars”

Jack: Right…. Ad astra!                                                                          Right… The stars!

Max: la campana rintocca (and again)…                                         The bell is tolling (and again)

Jack: Ad astra!                                                                                           The stars!

Max: Rintocca per voi                                                                            Tolling for you

Jack: Ad astra                                                                                            The stars

Max: Spes sunt futuri temoris!                                                          The hope of the future!

 

Max: Splendid! Ha! How amusing! Oh dear, I do love amusing myself… Colin, pass me some more therezine…

 

*The translation offered here is taken from the case notes of The Tiffin Den Sleuths and, as such, may not be depended upon for absolute accuracy.

 

cat

 

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